So it turns out that landing a fully laden passenger aircraft all on your own, with just one engine, pretty much guarantees hero status. At least among the aviation community, because cabin crew and pilots have been sliding into my DMs like no ones business. I’m not complaining. The company have put me on hiatus until an initial review has been completed but it’s looking like I did a remarkable job in rescuing an almost inconceivable situation. Just in case you missed it, I landed an airplane with one engine and no Captain. If I repeat that statement again, I make no apologies, I’m pretty proud of myself.

I know that you are all wondering what happened to the Captain (Dave) and I am happy to report that he is healthy and well, which is a relief for all of us. I’m pretty sure he may not see it that way, though, because the news leaking out from his bedside is that he has been taking non-prescribed pain medication, which led to his blood pressure dropping at the wrong time. The company do not look kindly on this sort of behaviour, so they have taken his passport and he’s probably going to be out of a job soon. It’s a real pity, because he seems, to me, to be a really good guy.

Speaking of fallen heroes, I’ve had plenty of time off this week, which means I’ve been able to keep tabs on Conor McGregor. Not looking good for the white knight of Crumlin, is it? Let’s do a quick recap on what’s been going on. Somebody allowed the sporting public to be convinced that an accomplished mixed martial artist should be allowed box against the greatest boxer, and wanker, in history and they paid him a stupid amount of money to do so. The results have been so predictable that it’s almost painful to watch, but then again, expecting anything other than the unravelling of this ‘sporting icon’ would be simply naïve.

We have had pretty much an entire month of McGregor prancing about and punching people that he thinks he’s tougher than. He’ll only become aware of this when it happens, but a gangster with a gun is a lot tougher than a half plumber with a good left hand. He is on course to join the ranks of all those broke-as-fuck ex NFL, NBA and soccer players who manage to ram any success they’ve had by displaying a lack of common sense when the curtain drops on their sporting lives. I would not be surprised if McGregor is on the phone to Michael Vick this week trying to best understand how to run an illegal dog-fighting ring. It’s disappointing, because no matter what way you spin this he has achieved great things as a sport person, but it’s very obvious that he’s about as deep as a Transformers movie.

With two fallen heroes invading my personal and professional life in their own unique ways I’ve been given the opportunity to reflect on who I am. The moniker of hero has been bestowed upon me, without my asking for it, and I am unsure of my worthiness to honour such a title. I am a perpetual screw up with a litany of failures in my rear view mirror. I’m hoping that this moment in my life won’t be overshadowed by a fall from grace that mirrors the heroes that I have taken my lead from.

It should be noted, that the company have also taken my passport although the family are intending to come to Dubai for Christmas, so I wasn’t going anywhere anyway. Plus, I’ve heard that I’m in line for a big bonus, so I can buy my way out of the country if I need to. I better wrap this up before I’m late to the Porsche dealership; I’ve got an appointment to spend some of that bonus money. If you’re going to be a local hero you might as well look the part, right?

Photo by Philip Swinburn on Unsplash