It’s a new year and it’s a new me! Well, that’s what I’m trying to convince myself of as I sit here bored off my tits at 35’000 feet. I definitely consumed too much food and drink over Christmas and I am severely bloated as a result. My uniform pants are feeling way tighter than they should and I’m starting to wish I caught the … Continue reading New Year, New Me?
The weather in London was surprisingly benign, which is odd, because it is normally blowing a gale at this time of the year. Once we pull up to the gate we complete our shutdown procedures and just as we’re talking about where to go for a beer the head cabin crew announces someone would like to ask us a question. I’ve been a mega … Continue reading I’m Talking Flat Earth Over Here
For some reason Craig has a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 “phablet” and he is yet to send it back to be fixed. Effectively he has a WMD in his pants that were it to explode would blow his dick off. Obviously he would have to fit it into his front pocket first, but the threat remains. He’s not allowed have it on the airplane which … Continue reading New York Hot Pocket
Having gotten over the failure to launch on Halloween weekend I’m heading to Bangkok for a few days. Flying with a decent crew; Jim is a pretty superb Captain, he misses the odd thing but so do I and sure that’s why there are two of us. We had talked about the chances of thunderstorms or CBs, that’s “cumulonimbus clouds” to the uninitiated, on … Continue reading Crosswind Concentration
Halloween is one of my favourite times of year. It’s pretty much a license for all involved to engage in a level of absurdity and promiscuity that normally causes fights and breakups. This year I’m in Dubai and I’m rolling with some of my best mates from flight school – Craig, Bill and Ronald. When we hang out together we have the most epic … Continue reading Stranger Things Have Happened
Making my way to Head Office to discuss my inappropriate use of the fire test system inflight proved to be a shittier day than I had expected. They basically read me the riot act. In honesty, I feel that’s a little harsh but I couldn’t defend it as a revenge project because that would be pretty unprofessional. Thankfully they’re letting me stay on the … Continue reading Go Pro No-No
I’m back in the real now world and I’ve got a few days off to ponder the email I’ve received regarding my inflight actions on the way back from Rio. It appears the other pilot may have decided my actions were a little stupid and reported me for it. I’ve got to admit I probably should not have done it but unless they fire … Continue reading Netflix and Chill?
A week before the Rio trip I check my roster and I’m flying with a pretty decent crew. I get onto them straight away, and I’m making sure they know I’m trying to score one of the cabin crew girls. I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to fly with her for months after it got exceptionally flirtatious on a trip to New York. We … Continue reading Caipirihnas & Speedos
It has been a long week and I do not mean that in a good way. I had to go to the doctor with some major medical concerns. Now I don’t mind the doctors all that much but my concerns were real and you know some things you just have to take seriously. I’m heading to Rio tomorrow for a few nights – you … Continue reading Zika May Cause Embarrassment
Wake up early and let the sun fill my eyes as the automatic curtains open and allow Mother Nature invade my senses. As soon as it hits me I’m out of bed and into the kitchen to consume a glass of lemon water and then I hit the yoga mat. Meditation is key to every morning, allowing me to fill myself with gratitude and reflect … Continue reading Sushi beats Sausages
The Long-Haul Journal of Logan Jacob 